The last week has been a whirlwind of emotions to say the
least.
During an IVF cycle you have monitoring appointments to
watch over and make sure the stimulation drugs are doing their job just right.
We have had 4 monitoring appointments between last Wednesday and today (that
equals (4), 4 hour round trips early morning to beat rush hour). During an IVF cycle it is also unclear how
your body will react to the stimulation meds, each cycle can be different; this
has been our experience thus far. (At all monitoring
appointments they do a blood draw to test your estradiol 2 level (estrogen) as
well as an ultrasound to see how many follicles, (follicles are fluid filled
sacs that should hold the eggs) the size(s) and check your
uterine lining thickness.)
Monitoring
Appointment Summary:
5/7/14: Showed 6 follicles that could be measured (2
right, 4 left) still early in development. Estrogen level was lower than it
should be. I was upped to a much higher
dose 2x/day.
5/10/14: Showed
closer to 8 follicles that could be measured (2 right, 6 left) sizing was
better and closer together. Estrogen level was still lower than it should be.
Continue high dosage.
5/12/14: Showed 6 follicles (2 right, 4 left). Sizing
showed that possibly 4 would reach maturity.
*You cannot attempt to fertilize an egg unless
it is mature
5/13/14: Showed 6
follicles (2 right, 4 left). Sizing showed that only 3 would reach maturity.
The way it works after your monitoring appointment is that
the IVF nurses and Dr’s all get together, go over your monitoring results and
discuss moving forward any changes or when you will be ready to take your “trigger”
shot. (This gets the eggs inside the
follicles ready for retrieval; retrieval happens 36 hours after HCG “trigger”
shot).
Our nurse came in and
had the conversation that we thought was coming with our low number of mature
eggs/follicles. She asked us our
thoughts on moving forward. I of course started balling, as I have been feeling
like the cancellation of our cycle was coming.
When you don’t know the future or what is going to happen…I tend to
revert back to the past and compare. Well in our last cycle we retrieved 8 eggs
of which 7 were mature and only 4 fertilized (we have sperm quality issues as well). My heart sank knowing yesterday morning that
we only the potential for 3 mature looking eggs and what if none
fertilize? We have spent so much money
up to this point, however hadn't really gotten to the “real” expensive part
yet. I feel good, have done acupuncture, etc. but why is my body not responding
to the meds well this time? Are we better off to cancel and try in a month
again and see if I react differently? The flood of emotions, questions was all
too much. We decided to head back to and
asked our nurse to discuss with our Dr and see what his stance was. The clinics typical rule is that they cancel
the cycle if there are less than 3 mature follicles. There we sat…right at the
border line with a big decision.
As we got into the car, I thought…there is always the
exception to the rule and maybe that is us.
Kris and I prayed really hard, we cried really hard and then prayed
really hard again. The longer we drove,
the more we began to think…we have worked so hard for these follicles and how
could we just cancel and be done. What if God is only giving us what we need
for it work? Neither of us admitted
until we went to bed last night; however both of us were feeling we need to
move forward and see what happens. We were hurt and broken last cycle, we were
hurt and broken yesterday…we know the odds are against us…however, let’s see
what happens! God can work miracles.
All afternoon as I got back to work I felt so exhausted.
Around 1:45pm the number from the clinic popped up on my phone and my heart
sank. It was the nurse stating that our
Dr. without hesitation wanted to move forward with the cycle and that he wanted
us to stimulate one more day to see if we could get even one of the smaller
borderline follicles to reach a mature level.
WHAT? This hadn't even been a thought in our mind or an option. Our Dr. had tested a couple of other blood levels
(still not sure why) and apparently they came back good and where he wanted
them. As I spoke to the nurse, I realized we had headed out after our
appointment and back without even thinking if we needed any more meds? We were
either supposed be cancelled or taking the HCG shot that night. Our local pharmacies can’t get them in time!
The nurse had the meds at the clinic and so Kris drove back down to the clinic after
only being back for 2 hours to get the meds. Bless his soul, after getting up at 4am he had
made (2) 4 hour round trips- 8 hours total of driving.
Earlier, when we got back to Alexandria and headed into
work, we both said…we will go with whatever our Dr says. We both prayed that
God give us a big sign of what his will is for this cycle and that he speak to
us through our Dr and the call we knew we would get yesterday afternoon.
All that I can do is keep walking through the doors that the
lord keeps opening. Trust him completely. Never lose Faith. Believe in Miracles.
This cycle has been different than every expectation I had
going into it, it has been trying, it has been overly emotional and it has made
us hope and believe more than we thought we already did. We know God is working
through us…we don’t know the end result or exactly why, however we trust it
will be big and we feel God’s presence with us.
Now we wait for the clinic to hopefully call today and tell
us to take the HCG “trigger” shot tonight.
The next step/hurdle will be the egg retrieval Friday and leaving with a
few good quality eggs that are mature enough to attempt fertilization.
We are focusing on one step at a time, one small success at
a time, and reminding ourselves of how much God loves us.
Thank you to all who are praying with us, we truly can feel
it and it means more to us than you will ever know.
Kris & Megan
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